Here's how I really feel about it......."Excuse me for my cancer and chemotherapy, getting in the way of wanting a front row seat in YOUR life!"
Yes it is very unfortunate, I have actually lost friendships in this last few weeks and today my daughter lost a friendship too. You really learn the meaning of self righteousness, or maybe it's just plain stupidity, when you have a major health issue or any big life event for that matter.*ie wedding, baby, divorce. It has never been clearer to me, who I want in my life and that it took having a major life changing event to "clean house."
My suggestion, don't wait for times of weakness to let people prey on your vulnerability. For those of you who know me, even just a little, know that I have a fairly hard exterior, and my "tell it like it is attitude" may seem that I'm unbreakable, the reality is my insides are like marshmallows and I'm just like anyone else, I have a heart and feelings and am actually very sensitive.
The point of me telling you this is not to whine about my issues, rather to help people learn from this and take away what not to do when you are ever faced with someone else in your life who has a major crisis or event. So remember this.......
- Don't have expectations that the person will still be able to operate at the same level of friendship when they are 100% or not preoccupied with their life event. They can't do it.
- Don't add anymore stress to their life by asking them to worry about you or your life. They can't do it. (This is especially important when the person is having a health crisis)
- Don't ask them for anything.... ever!
I am so fortunate to have so many great supportive people in my life, and many people who have come out of the "woodwork" so to speak, and many of those who I know from afar who have sent the kindest messages and love to my family and myself. You know who you are and thank you from the deepest place in my heart!
I just want to share the experiences I'm having to help others learn from them.
x0x
