"You have Breast Cancer."

**This is a back dated post just to give a little bit of a timeline for those who may not know the whole story.

September 27, 2012
Today I got "the call" from my family doctor Dr. Allison Ferg.  Allison has been my doctor for 15 years and delivered and cared for me during all my baby making days and graciously took our whole family into her care and practice after Vinnie was born 6 1/2 years ago.

I was on my way to work like any other work day, and my car phone announced an "incoming call from Dr. Ferg."  I knew right then, it was not good news.  I pulled over and took the call.  All she said was "get into my office in 15 minutes and get Phil here too."
I hung up and broke into hysterics, panic and shear terror.
I called Phil at work right away, he basically dropped the phone and raced to the office.
I had to call work and tell them I wasn`t coming in, my Nurse Leader was so good, saying "maybe they just need to retest it, have another look."   I thank you for that Krista, as it really was the only way I was able to pull it together enough to drive to Dr. Ferg's office that Thursday morning :)

I then called my Auntie, I am very close to her, and told her what had just happened and that I was on my way to Dr. Ferg's.  Grief stricken is the only way to describe the desperation in her voice.
It just made life so become so abundantly clear.

I pulled up to the office and Phil was waiting, he hugged me so tight in that moment, you just don`t even realize how life was about to change.
We were walked straight in to see Dr. Ferg she was actually not supposed to be in the office that day, but had 'popped' in that day to do paperwork and came across my results and called me immediately.
We sat in the office and she asked me if I knew why I was there and I said "yes, what is it?" she replied solemnly saying "You have breast cancer."

The lead up.......

The lead up........I had pain in my left breast for over 3 months when I met my "Guardian Messenger" on August 20, 2012. The pain was like a bruise or nagging pain that didn't throb but hurt when you would rub against it or touch it directly. It was on the side of my breast, sort of where your arm lies up against your breast....ladies you would have a better understanding of this.

So, of course, I ignored it because I was always under the impression, having been told before by different reliable sources, that breast cancer does not cause pain. Oh, it might have also been the fact that I have four kids and it was summer break and you know ....I wasn`t pre-occupied AT ALL!

So what happened next is in the letter following:

Dear Friends,

Bonnie Pollard is not a close friend or relative, she is my “Guardian Messenger.” 

On a hot summer day in August of this year (2012) I met Bonnie through a friend that I have known for many years.  My friend and I were at the beach with our kids, just like we have been doing for the last almost 10 years.  This day was different, my friend said that “Bonnie” was going to be dropping off her child because she needed someone to watch her.  This was not someone I had ever met before, nor heard about from my friend.  So we carried on and the kids kept playing and we waited for Bonnie. 

Bonnie showed up and there happened to be another mutual connection there, a mom from their kids school.  She was completely aghast “Bonnie, your hair looks great!!” she screeched. Little did she know, after countless questions about Bonnie’s new coif, that Bonnie would then get down on her knees in front of us and tell us she had breast cancer.  My friend already knew, this is why she was going to be watching Bonnie’s daughter, the other two of us were in stunned silence.  So there she knelt telling us her unbelievable story of her breast cancer battle.  She was intimate and told us all the details, answered every question we had, she was so open and free with her story.  I left the beach that day, not being able to stop thinking about her and her beautiful little children and husband.  Oh my goodness......what a terrifying reality she was facing.

Little did Bonnie know, what I took away from her telling her story that day, was to immediately go home and make a doctor’s appointment.  You see, I had been having pain in my left breast for about 3 months and had just been sloughing it off as hormones, I needed a new bra, you know whatever.  It was Bonnie telling me that she had pain that triggered me to make the call.

So what now......here I sit 3 weeks post surgery for a partial mastectomy on my left breast. As it turns out, that pain I was having, the one I was sloughing off, it was a tiny lump growing in my breast. 

I was lucky, I had this beautiful gift who stood before me that summer’s day and told her story with such liberty and free will, not even knowing what an impact it would have.

 

I can never thank her enough.

Written by Carla Vidal